sunkissed04643 (sunkissed04643) wrote in binge_and_purge,
sunkissed04643
sunkissed04643
binge_and_purge

I cracked...

I'm gonna post this behind a cut to avoid any triggering

I hate this...I was doing so well all fucking year...and I realize that was only like 2 months (not even)...but I cracked tonight when I started thinking. I hate the fact that I'm in high school when I have this exciting college life waiting for me. I'm so fucking depressed...I think I'm bipolar honestly. And now I get to go tell my nutritionist next week that I purged. And I did...I binged...there was so much food...I binged until I looked like a pregnant woman. And then I just let it all come back out. And I felt so much better...so much more relieved...like I knew that feeling...it was like home to me. And then I had those tears run down my cheeks...u know cuz u try to hard to throw up. And now I still feel fat and worthless...and very very depressed. I hate this...and then I lie to everyone about it. I think I've gotten myself addicted to purging again...I hate this so much. Ugh...why does god only torture the people that didnt do anything to anyone.
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